earlier this year i was convinced that 2010 was going to be the year of the suck. well, i'm eagerly working towards turning that around and making 2010 the year of growth. it's hard to face everything that i'm facing right now but i'm really confident that i can make the progress that i want to make. so many things are hitting home these days. i'm starting to realize that i have been keeping myself from so much because i don't have the courage to realize that i am good enough to get the things that i want. things like a nice apartment that i feel good about coming home to. also, i've realized that i need to stop thinking that i am going to fail at whatever i do because when i put my mind to something, i'm actually really good at making things happen for myself. so that's what i am focusing on right now. making it work and letting myself grow.

i have a handful of really amazing people in my life that are really pushing for me and that feels fucking great. thank you.