Today is day four of sobriety for me. It is scary for me to admit this, but this is the longest I've gone without a drink in over five years. This is also the longest that I've gone without being DRUNK in almost three years. Ever since I became a flight attendant, my life has been one great party. For a long time, I thought that there was nothing wrong with this. But I have reached a point in my life that makes me realize that there are things that are missing. Things that have had their places in my life overtaken by my search for the next party. Now, don't get me wrong, the party is not ending here. I am just taking a break, taking a breather, and getting some good sleep for the first time in a long time. Clearing my brain and my heart out of the cloudiness and letting my liver recover from the run it's had for the last few years.
I feel like my life is this crazy, beautiful mess right now. So many pieces coming together at a really insane speed. I don't know whether to be terrified or to just close my eyes and take a deep breath and hope that things don't change too much. I mean, I really want some things to change, but I'm afraid of losing people in the mix. Although, at this point I kind of feel like if I lose some things, great. I have everything in the world to gain.
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